Queens (and Kings) of the May

Here we go then, brace yourselves, the winners are:

Britain's Got Talent - James the Hat, at Blackpitts.
Runner up - Emma T

Frank Scott - Manic Kate
Runner up - Kiss My Aster

All around the world - Yolanda at Bliss
Runners up - Ewa, Brixton Broad and Tara

Wilf Lunn - VP
Runner up - Arabella Sock

Irrelephant - Happy Mouffetard
Runners Up - Esther & Sock Wars

Cartier-Bresslaw - Zoe "Garden Hopper"
Runner up - Artists Garden

Simply the Best- Arabella Sock
Runners up - Silvertreedaze, Blackpitts & Simon's Allotment

Humphrey's thingy - Emma T
Runners up - Yolanda, Mark D, James the Hat

New Kid - Silvertreedaze
Runners up - Little Green Things, Going to the Dogs

Panel Beater - Nigel Colborn (Silvertreedaze)
Runners up - Matthew Wilson, Chester Hunt

New host for GQT - Sabrina Duncan International - who some sick bunny suggested was actually Joe Swift dragged up - shame on you. Very funny tho'.

There you go then - thanks again for taking part -hope you enjoyed it all.

Eighteen months ago I made a plea for more interesting garden blogs. It seems that someone heard my prayers. There really is some good stuff out there.

GMx
In years to come when these awards are celebrated by a champagne reception, we will look back and laugh at how crap the admin was in the first few years.

Voting has now closed

Results will be announced on Tuesday.

Where there is a split decision I will cast a deciding vote (cackles with delight).

Thanks to everyone who took the time to take part.

Mx

The Final Countdown

Voting finishes in just under 6 hours folks.

Here We Go Again

Well, it's that time of year.

When, after a 12 month hiatus we find, not the green shoots of something interesting emerging from the undergrowth, but rather the advent of the most pointless gardening blog awards going.

This year we have upped the excitement quotient by increasing their number from ten to eleven - can you contain yourself after hearing that thrilling news?

I'm off to have a lie down myself.

To vote simply add a comment to the relevant post category of this blog.

You may propose as many nominees as you wish for each category. You are encouraged not to vote more than once for any particular nominee, but you may, of course, vote for yourself.

Nominations for the Awards will close on May 17th with the Winners being announced on Tuesday 19th May - to coincide with the awarding of Royal Horticultural Society Medals at the Chelsea Flower Show.

I would like to add my thanks for James "The Hat" Alexander-Sinclair for his much valued contributions, but other than that have just one thing to say.....

Vote!!

This is A Garden Monkey Production (with all the ramshackle nonsense that that implies).

Britain's Got Talent

Don't despair, there's not a man with trousers "a bit tight under the armpits", Piers Moron, or the former Mrs Les Dennis in sight.

Unlike them, we are not interested in showcasing the delusional for cheap laughs, but rather solely in deciding who has the talent.

Ladies and Gents, shoulders back, chins out......wait for it, wait for it......a big shout for the Best British Blog!!

The Francis Scott Key/Leonard Cohen Award

The Yanks have given us many things: some good (the Zamboni ice rink reviver, the zipper and Scrabble), some not (the Neutron bomb, bubblegum and Ketamine) and some necessary but a little unsavoury (Preparation H, life size dolls and supermarkets).

They have also supplied us with an awful lot of garden blogs.

This award is for the Best North American Blog **

** For the purposes of simplicity we also include the Canadians in this category (they have been responsible for Trivial Pursuit, the Foghorn and the alkaline, lithium and nickel oxyhydroxiode batteries).

We apologise for any offence this may cause.

All Around The World

No, this category has notthing to do with the song by Oasis, nor the one by The Jam, nor Lisa Stansfield's, nor yet Lionel Richie's.

And not even that classic 1993 album by Jason Donovan.

No, what we are looking for here is your fave blog, in the last 12 months, from outside the UK and the US.

And please, PLEASE, no Eurovision-style block voting.

The Wilf Lunn Vision On Award

Blogs can drift towards dullness and can all too easily decline into a samey load of wittering.

So....which blog has kept you amused and stimulated with new ideas, form, formats and the like.

And I don't mean memes and other such chainletter-like twaddle

Basically who has been the most inventive and interesting blogger?

Queens Award For Complete Irrelevance

One of the problems with many garden blogs is that they have far too much gardening: it is possible to have too many photographs of seedling tomatoes, empty beds or burgeoning chrysanthemums.

This award is for the best post on a Garden blog that did not concern gardening. Perhaps a post concerned with ballet or sculpture or socks or motor cars or caravanning or wild carousing or romance or seafood or banking or just about anything except practical gardening.

The Cartier-Bresslaw Award

The prize is for a photograph (or series of photographs) published on a blog since last May.

We are not necessarily looking for expertise or perfect manipulation of the f-stop.The picture could be blurred and upside down for all we care: but the subject matter must be exceptional for some reason.

It could be something exceedingly cutesy (squirrels, cats,warthogs,kiddies etc), unusual, rare, gorgeous, wacky or just straightforward amusing.

As in all these categories it does not necessarily have to be of a purely horticultural nature.

Simply The Best

No fuss. No packdrill.

Quite simply - Which was the best gardening blog post you've read in the last year?

And why?

Was it Informative? Entertaining? Moving? Clever? Wise? Funny (deliberate or otherwise)?

Or perhaps you even enjoyed it just because it was really crap.

The John Humphreys Award

All those who write Blogs like to think that there are some people out there who bother to read their words.

This Award is to recognise those who comment on blogs. It rewards the individual who contributes the pithiest comments.

To qualify comments must be witty and to the point. They must be neither anodyne nor tedious.

New Kid On The Blog

Sometimes it seems that everybody and their dog has to have blog these days.

Over the last twelve months or so we have seen more members of the MainStream Media, muscling in on the garden blogging scene, which used to be almost exclusively amatuer, in status and outlook (and perhaps the better for it) .

But it hasn't stopped at that, now any organisation, or movement, or campaign feels compelled to have one too (c/f Landshare, Dig In and the like)

Where will it end?

Anyway, that aside - be it amatuer or pro, Franciscan or Courtesan, whether created for love or money, what is your favourite new blog of the last 12 months?

Panel Beater

With hallowed radio gardening programme Gardeners' Question Time migrating to a new company soon* there are surely a few changes afoot.

So the award question is this:

Apart from Nigel Colborn, which blogger should the new GQT production company employ as a panelist?

Votes for Nigel are of course to be encouraged as well - maybe we could raise a petition.

In fact shall we all just say Nigel Colborn and be done with it?


* I understand the first programme under their aegis is to be broadcast on 31 July - although I may have been sold a duffer on that, as my source also tells me that one of the questions is from a rather genteel couple who want to know how to stop the local chavs "dogging" in the lane that runs down the side of their garden.

Not So Original Celeb Bit at The End Award

And whilst we're on the subject of GQT, who should they draft in as a presenter?